Open to Possibilities!
One of the most abusive traits that is the common denominator among Lions in our lives is the crossing of boundaries.
We are living our lives. We have done our work. We created this lovely garden of our ours. We are walking our Possibility Path. We are co-existing in the world.
And then one day a Lion Attacks.
It might someone tail gating you on the road aggressively or honking their horn. It may be a neighbor cutting down a tree on your property. It might be a family member coming to visit when you said it wasn’t a good time or a friend sharing a secret that you didn’t want anyone to know.
It might be an accident or a tragedy that triggers fear or anxiety. It could even be unwanted sexual advances, physical attacks, anger thrown at you in ways you could not imagine over something as simple as a game of who won checkers.
The attacks are wide and varied but they all do one thing: they make us feel unsafe.
Our personal boundaries are the walls of our garden.
We all have those boundaries. We have our own personal space. We have our own way of looking at life. As individual human beings with each person having their own I the Observer, we all naturally have our own inner and outdoor gardens.
As we grow up and change we naturally create new gardens in our lives. We form our own families, we create new belief systems, and we live our own lives.
Some people cannot handle these changes. Some people want you to be just like them or do just what they want you to do. They cannot understand how anyone could have a garden that does not look just like theirs. They cannot understand why you don’t do what they want you to do, when they want you to do it! They get angry. They get mean. They throw guilt, shame, physical attacks, and every trick in the book your way to get you to do and be who they want you to do and be.
They could be your grandparents who tell you how horrible you are for living your life the way you do or just that you need to cut your hair. They are your parents who play victim or aggressor to try to get you to do what they want you to do or be who they want you to be. They are your siblings who mock you and taunt you and tease you to bullying depths of despair. They are your childhood friends, neighbors, or church communities who have you believe that you are not good enough just being who you are and you should be in their garden only, and never your own.
Some call these people narcissistic. Others are diagnosed with personality inabilities. Some are just labeled judgmental, mean, or bullies. Some are just brain washed antelopes who believe everyone must be in their tribe to survive. Antelopes spend their time herding others constantly to be like the tribe.
Others are just tired, hurt, or angry with life. Most of them are not bad people. They are just Lions. They destroy for many various reasons, some of which we may never know. Most of it is about control.
On The Possibility Path we call the people who do not respect our boundaries Lions.
And when Lions attack, it can destroy everyone’s gardens around them.
You can be walking down your lovely garden path on a sunny beautiful day in this amazing world you have built for yourself and out of the blue, you see a Lion.
Immediately your blood pressure goes up. You stop dead in your tracks. If you move, the Lion will see you. You try not to breathe. You try not to move. You look for escape routes. Your mind races with thoughts of how to keep your garden safe from the destruction. You go through each scenario: If I do this, then… or this, then… Over and over you look for the solutions. You cannot find them. You start to sink into despair. The Lion sees you. It is hunting and you are the prey.
If I had only done this, or never gone out into the garden. Your mind tries to control the situation.
There is no control. The Lion is ready to pounce. The walls wide open he sees a crack and he attacks.
We have all been there- frozen with the deer in the headlights look in our eyes.
What do we do? What do we do?
We must then and there become a Safari Survivor.
We must find a possibility that brings us back our garden beauty and allows us to roam free in our Garden of Life.
Our possibility may be no longer communicating with the Lion who cannot respect us. We may have to grieve the loss of that relationship and face that loss.
Our possibility may be standing our ground and facing the Lion, being brutally honest to get our feelings out in public.
Our possibility may be going to talk to a professional who can help us set our own boundaries and heal the wounds that are inside of us from the trauma we endured before.
Our possibility may be that we simply walk right by the Lion and keep on living our life, no longer in fight or flee.
Our possibilities are our own. We get to create them. We get to choose what attitude, what Story, what feelings, thoughts, and how this Lion affects our inner world. They may have hurt us in the past or gotten us to acquiesce before, but we are now Possibility People and we get to choose.
No Lion, Antelope, tribe, group, or person gets to choose how we see this world and how we live in it. We get to choose. We get to put the Story on our lives that we wish.
We may commiserate with others. We may talk or hash it out to brain storm ideas or go to a support group to learn new psychological tools. But we must always remember that our most important Garden of Life is ours, within our own minds and our own hearts.
We get to choose how we see people, how we see the world, and how we react to the Lions in our lives.
Lions will attack. That is what they do. They are carnivores who must kill for food. We do not need to be their prey. We can walk away.
We can find our Zen.
We can create an internal garden that is not destroyed by every word they speak or possible action they take.
To do this, we must be strong enough to look at our reactions to the Lions honestly.
- Why do we react the way we do?
- Where is the hurt?
- Where can we heal?
Once you have seen the Lion for who they are, you must then look at yourself. If you are solid in who you are, the Lion will back down. You will be able to stand on your own, a true survivor.
This takes the brutal ability to be a Safari Survivor. You must be willing and able to choose your own path. If you cannot do that, you will never be free of the Lions in life. For there are many and they roam among us.
We cannot control Lions. They are meant to be wild. But how we choose to live with them is up to us. We get to choose our own possibilities. We get to create our own gardens and live our own lives! We get to choose!
We get to choose possibility. What possibility are you choosing today?
Your Optional Short Cut:
Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and tune into your heart space, and ask yourself:
- What Lion are you facing today? It is a belief system, a person, an old wound, or a new fear?
- What possibility can help you find your freedom and be a Safari Survivor?
What ideas come to you?
***** YOU ARE A SHINING STAR! *****
* These Possibility Pauses are for you to hit the pause button in your life for just a moment to get answers, ideas, solutions, and hope that you might not otherwise get moving through life on auto-pilot.
Feel free to share your insights and the feelings you get from these Pauses with those in your life. I
f they wish to join The Star Shine Club, they too can get the new Possibility Pause emails each week and discounts on The Possibility Path programs!
We’d love to have them.
Thanks for taking a moment to hit pause and open up to Possibility!
August 25, 2019 - Possibility Pause
© JP, Jeannine Proulx, A Possibility Pause
The Star Shine Club
Appreciate you, all you are, and all you do to bring life and possibility to the world, starting with your inner world!
Here’s to the possibilities to come!
The Possibility Path was created as a life coaching program to gain insight into the journey of being a human being.
copyright Spinner Arts Publications, LLC,2012- 2024