People are not cars.

38- From Caretaker to Lighthouse Keeper: People are not cars.
 
A Caretaker job description is to take care of people, places, and things. In today’s world we see that as an outward expression of how much love those people, places, and things.

We pay attention to them. We do for them. We give to them. We cook for them. We feed them. We clean them. We clothe them. We heal them. These are the words that have been mirrored to us in the well engrained texts of our lives. We must do for others to show them that we care.

If we love someone we must do for them.
 
If we are empathic people who are visionaries and can see all possibilities, we can take this a step further. We can feel what other people want us to give to them. We see that when we do what other people want us to do, it makes them happy. We want those we love to be happy, so we keep doing for them. We keep doing and doing and doing for them.

This we see as a sign of our love and an example of being a good daughter or son, a good spouse, a good parent, a good friend.
 
But what happens when what someone wants us to do for them is not good for us?
 
As we move along our own Possibility Path, growing and getting to know ourselves better, we learn what we need to be happy, healthy, and shining in this world. We learn what makes us mean and angry and what makes us loving and kind toward others. We learn that by taking care of ourselves, we become better people, shiny Lighthouses to show people the way to shore.

We learn that when our light dims, so too does our capacity to care for people. We realize that we can get angry and resentful towards the people we are “caretaking” for and those relationships can fracture or even get broken because of it. We love our connection to others and want peace in our relationships. This can leave us at a crossroads with the traditional idea of caretaking.
 
This moment when what others need or want for us to do for them conflicts with what we need to do to keep ourselves well, is a huge opportunity to completely change our definition of caretaking. It is time to become a Lighthouse Keeper.
 
To be a Lighthouse to the World is the perfect example of The Possibility Path motto:
“When you are in a better space, the world is a better place.”
 
We are often taught caretaking is the exact opposite: if the world and those we love are in a better space, then we can be in a better place. If others are happy, we feel satisfied and feel that we did a good job of caretaking.
 
Our whole definition for how good we are in the world is then based on how well others are. That means those we love must always be happy and well for us to be happy. We are completely dependent on others living life as we define happy and well to then make us look, feel, or be shown as a good Caretaker.
 
If we are the Caretaker for a car, for example, and this car is broken down, makes lots of noise, hasn’t been washed in ages, and putts down the road with its exhaust blowing black smoke, what does that say about you?

Are you proud of yourself and the job you are doing? How do people react to this machine you are supposed to be taking care of?
 
In being a Caretaker of others we treat them as if they are a car. If they are shiny, look pretty, and perform well in the world, then we feel pride. We have done our jobs well. We are good workers! We have done well. We (and the world outside) defines us as good friends, good parents, good sons and daughters, good people, and good caretakers.
 
But people are not cars.
 
People are people. They each have their own individual paths to walk. They each have their own point of view. They each have their own journey. They each have their own lives to live. Even the smallest of children has their own I the Observer that sees the world in a completely different way than we do. People have their own internal lives, their own voices, their own paths.

Not only are we all different and have these amazing internal lives we are living, we are in vehicles that constantly break down and are designed to age, wear out, and die.
 
If we are caretaking for others the way we care take for a car, we are missing out on the complexity of what it means to be a human being and have human connection and relationships with others. People are not cars.
 
But, there is a way that moves us into an open, loving, authentic, and honest way of living that respects people for all their inner workings and their own path. It is the Life of a Lighthouse Keeper and it is one that is not for the faint of heart.

​For to be a Lighthouse Keeper means we need to turn our eyes away from thinking others must be shiny and clean for us to be seen as good caretakers, and instead pay attention to our own inner lives, our own perceptions, our own gardens, our own path, and care take for ourselves in a way that has often been labeled selfish up until now.
 
For being a Lighthouse Keeper is the secret to having wonderful relationships full of respect, honor, integrity, peace, love, and joy in the unique people that inhabit our world with us.
 
How to do that? We will continue that in Part II. For now, know that there is a way to sit and be in a better space without the world being a “better” place at all!

It all starts with the simple change from Caretaker to Lighthouse Keeper. It ends with Opening up to Possibility on a scale that can take that broken down car and see it as an antique jalopy full of joy. One simple Possibility Perspective change changes everything, and with it can change the world.
 
 
To be continued… part II next!
 
© JP, Jeannine Proulx, A Possibility Pause
The Star Shine Club
www.thepossibilitypath.com

 
Your Optional Short Cut:
Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and tune into your heart space, and ask yourself:
 
- When the idea of caretaking was mentioned, who came to mind in your life immediately?
- What do you do to care take for this person?
- If they are not shiny, happy, or well, how does it make you feel? Why?
 
 
What ideas come to you?
 
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***** YOU ARE A SHINING STAR! *****
 
These Possibility Pauses are for you to hit the pause button in your life for just a moment to get answers, ideas, solutions, and hope that you might not otherwise get moving through life on auto-pilot.
Thanks for taking a moment to hit pause and open up to Possibility!

Appreciate you, all you are, and all you do to bring life and possibility to the world, starting with your inner world! Here’s to the possibilities to come!
 
 
© JP, Jeannine Proulx, A Possibility Pause
The Star Shine Club
www.thepossibilitypath.com

 
***If you know of someone else who is interested in becoming a Star Shine Club Member and get personal insight and weekly NEW content,  go to the Star Shine Club page or Patreon.com/thepossibiltypath